Two Parties In One Day!

As a caregiver, it is my job to love, serve and give unconditionally.  Is it easy? Not always.  When uncertainties come I find myself in a place of questioning my frustrations, ability, and welfare.  As a caregiver for my 84 year old mother-in-law, uncertainties will come but it is the truth (Jesus) who will set me free.

2013 (6-9-2013) Pity Party Picture - colorful balloonsToday, I am openly frustrated over a decision which was made by my mother-in-law who relies on me for her care.  I instantly feel betrayed, angry and insecure over a statement and it triggers other emotions.  Stop!  I know that, if not handled properly, emotions can lie to me.  However, I still allow myself to travel down the “I wonder” road and allow my thoughts to run freely.

*I wonder:

  • Does she really know the sacrifice I have made? (Anger)
  • Is she aware that her own daughter doesn’t want to care for her? (Disappointment)
  • Is my ability to care for her enough?  (Doubt)
  • Should I be more active, more engaged or provide more entertainment? (Guilt)
  • Does she recognize how blessed it is to have health insurance while I wonder if I can even afford to go to the doctor?  (Fear)
  • Does she realize she is my job without benefits or ability to build something of my own? (Insecure)
  • What will happen to me when she dies?  I have been without a job and will need one immediately. (Uncertainty)

2013 (5-31-2013) pity-party - baby cryingI wonder. I wonder. I wonder… Stop!!

As I was in my little pity party, I allowed Anger, Disappointment, Doubt, Guilt, Fear, Insecure and Uncertainty to join me.  There were no balloons, no laughing, or music just pity.  Poor me – I wanted to sit and play with my own emotions.  Rehearsing, nursing them over in my mind.  Doesn’t God know what I’m going through?  Is He listening?  I am glad that I put a quick end to this party as I turned to God’s Word – It is the truth (Jesus) who set me free and invited me to join His party.

Jesus invited me to come to his party, and He asked that I not bring gifts but my burdens.  So I obeyed and brought with me Anger, Disappointment, Doubt, Guilt, Fear, Insecure and Uncertainty and laid them at his feet.  He took these burdens from me.  But Jesus didn’t stop there.  He invited the Holy Spirit to come and bring me gifts – Love, Joy, Patience, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control, Kindness, Goodness, Affirmation, Security and Peace.  These gifts were freely given and always available to me.  I picked each one of them up and examined them not as a question why but in amazing wonder that He set me free! I left those burdens behind and joyfully received new gifts in their place.

2013 (6-9-2013) Hold on God knows what he is doing - pity partyJesus is a great party planner.  Jesus knows my frame.  He sees the beginning from the end.  So, now if I find myself saying, “I wonder”…I am reminded of the gifts Jesus gave me… Let’s Party!

Galatians 5: 13-25:

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh;  rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and wickedness; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

2013 (5-31-2013) Jesus party - Two parties in One posting

Robin Shirreffs

About Robin Shirreffs

While her artistry comes from her God given gifting, she has studied under various instructors; Professional training includes painting with acrylic and oil under a Master Artisan Ji Ye of China, photography training under Cheri Hamilton, and Digital Painting training under Victoria Hutson.
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6 Responses to Two Parties In One Day!

  1. Renee says:

    Wow ……wwwwwwwooooooowwwwww, Robin and Sheila,
    Thank you for writing…… This so speaks to me from the arena of stress and anger.
    Not understanding how people can be so self centered that they don’t see the burden that they are creating….. Because your mom,daughter, you are just supposed to take it all and handle it. Never mind how you feel or what the stress is doing to your physical body.
    I am going to copy and paste this… So when I need another good cry and release…. I can read it again and again.
    Thank again for posting.

    • Sheila Rhodes says:

      Renee.. I believe that most people REALLY can relate to Robin’s posting in some area…especially the area of emotions that arise in us at different times for different reasons. I’ve always felt that it isn’t what we go through in life but how we go through it and handle it…With the Lord by her side, we can handle any situation or any kind of negative emotion that shows up. Thank you Renee for your wonderful and honest comments above. I know Robin will be reading this as well. This posting is a “masterpiece” if I have to say so…it’s worth keeping someplace and pulling out again when encouragement is needed. 🙂
      Robin…you will be happy to know that Renee is a dear friend of mine from Hawaii…

    • Robin says:

      Hello Renee,
      I am so glad my experience brought healing to another. It is true that we will all have struggles, pity parties or stress at one time or the other. I try to become more a tune to my emotions by asking myself what they produce. Compassion or frustration…Joy or anger…confusion or peace…If my emotions turn to negative thoughts, the Word tells me to take captive of them and bring them back to a righteous standard. I may not be able to control another persons response but I can always remind myself that Jesus died for them too, I can always show compassion and sometimes it is simply a silent prayer. Thank you for sharing and bringing further life to this post. “-)

  2. Pingback: Pity Parties – Been There? | VINE ABIDING

  3. Cheryl Drake says:

    Robin, thank you for being so vulnerable and real. We have all been there more than once! Anger, doubt, guilt, disappointment, fear, etc., are like uninvited guests. They show up whenever they want to and take over the party! We have to tell them to leave. It might be uncomfortable, but once they are gone, oh the joy and freedom! Thanks for being real, Robin!

    • Robin says:

      Thank you Cheryl,
      Funny, now that I read over this article while true seems so petty and far away. Aren’t ya glad Jesus cast our sins away! I know I am…there is something to the old hymn that says….I need thee every hour, oh I need thee!

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